I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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