Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize