did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize