I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
