ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
