Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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