Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
