OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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