I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
