I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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