It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Farmville is her only friend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
