Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
