My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
