when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
