hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
