I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
bring money and cleavage
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
