I love black thongs
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
