we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
