I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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