let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
