Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
did you just send me my own nude
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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