Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
sarcasm needs its own font
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
