Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You were trust falling into bushes
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
