Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
