we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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