I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
