Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
