I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
