I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
