Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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