what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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