Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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