I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
