I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
