Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
