It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize