I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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