you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
