you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
