By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
