i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
A bitchslap is in order.
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