Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
