i was born a porn star she said
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
