he shaved USA in his pubs
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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