Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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