What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize