Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
