The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
