Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
