Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
