I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize