also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
