dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize