I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
