I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
