I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
