i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
