So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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