NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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