): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
